'Ron Burgandy' Launches Satirical Mayoral Campaign To Make Lansing Classy Again
Over the weekend, campaign signs for a new mayoral candidate showed up in Lansing lawns and businesses.
"Ron Burgandy" says he's running to make Lansing classy again in 2021.
His platform includes free tacos on Taco Tuesday, reopening the Moores Park Pool and training residents to travel to space.
A disclaimer on his campaign website does explain the whole campaign is a silly joke, especially since "Ron" is just Will Ferrell's character, Ron Burgundy, from the 2004 movie, "Anchorman."
But that didn't stop WKAR's Sophia Saliby from securing an interview with "Dr. Kenneth Noisewater" about the campaign. He describes himself as Ron's chief political strategist and the founder, man of action and lead bear trainer with Make Lansing Classy Again.
Sophia Saliby: Can you talk to me about why Ron decided to run for mayor?
Kenneth Noisewater: Absolutely, absolutely. You know, we were talking to Ron, and Ron said there was so much strife and turmoil in the world on both a local and a global scale that Ron can no longer idly stand by and watch the beautiful people of Lansing struggle. Ron Burgandy is a man of the people and a man of action, and his time is now.
Ron Burgandy is a man of the people and a man of action, and his time is now.
Saliby: The campaign slogan for Ron is "Make Lansing Classy Again." What is it going to take to make the city classy again?
Noisewater: He has a multi-targeted plan of attack to get this done. I mean, don't get us wrong, Lansing is a beautiful, wonderful place. And like I said in some of our previous communications, Ron has called Lansing his second home for quite some time.
First thing, everybody knows there is nothing classier than a pool party, and Lansing has a beautiful pool that is sitting here going to waste. If elected, Ron Burgandy will make sure that the Moores River Park pool rises like a phoenix from the ashes beyond the glory that it has ever known.
Ron Burgandy also believes in the "U.S.A," [or] universal scotch access. When Ron Burgandy is mayor, no adult that lives in Lansing will ever go without the scotch that they so desperately need.
Ron Burgandy also believes that no house should be without a dog. This city will work with the Humane Society and our friends at Preuss Pets to make sure that no household is without a furry companion.
Saliby: And those are the three main campaign promises?
Noisewater: Oh, we got more for you.
Saliby: Oh, there's more? Okay.
Noisewater: Yeah, Ron Burgandy believes that you should get free Girl Scout cookies with any purchase either medicinal or recreational at local dispensaries.
Ron Burgandy believes that no one should ever go without a taco on Taco Tuesday because how tragic is that? That's why we will establish the "U.T.I." A lot of people are talking about "U.B.I." [or] universal basic income. We're talking about "U.T.I." [or] universal taco initiative. We will make sure that every household in Lansing has a taco on Taco Tuesday. And we're going to take this one step further, and we are going to work with Mr. Taco and local government agencies to make sure that they once again establish regular business hours.
We could go on and talk all day about this, but Ron also believes about investing in local space exploration. He believes that there is a serious lack of space exploration and science in Lansing. That's why he's going to work with the federal government to secure funding to build and train local residents as astronauts and to also construct local spaceports. Space is awesome. Lansing's awesome too, but you got to think there's some folks here that want to go to space.
Saliby: On the campaign website, it says a vote for Ron Burgandy is a vote for beer. Can Ron share his favorite local beer of choice? Or would that be too partisan of a question?
Noisewater: Hey, you know, Ron has for a long time liked Miller Highlife, and Ron has tasted quite a few of the local beers. But I believe it would be too partisan for Ron to take a stance on which one is his favorite.
Saliby: And my final question is, if Ron doesn't win this race, which I'm not sure what the polling looks like right now, but what are his plans after that if he doesn't win?
Noisewater: I mean, our initial polling is really good. And as I've seen from your posts there on Twitter this weekend, you already see we've got people out there supporting us. I have seen no other campaign signs from any other candidates. To put it bluntly, failure is not an option. Ron Burgandy succeeds in everything, and this will be no different. Rest assured Ron Burgandy will be Lansing's mayor, come the November election.
You can find out more about Ron's campaign on his website, ronburgandylansingmayor2021.com.
This conversation has been edited for clarity and conciseness.